last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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