he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
