I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
