i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
