i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I wanna passion pit in your ass
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
