I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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