OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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