Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
