Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm at about main and main street
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
