I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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