so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
