k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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