I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he puts the penis in happiness.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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