shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
