hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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