i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
