Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
