I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
