There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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