weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
and she was petting her beer can
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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