it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My vagina just recognized that song.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
