Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
