I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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