I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
