you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
