He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I touched a dick in church today
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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