hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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