I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
