Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
