Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
