we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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