and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So apparently I’m into choking now
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
