and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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