Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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