i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
