Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
