Four minutes until I can fart!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
