we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
