This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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