She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You've changed since you got that strap on
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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