He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think pants incapable of making pants work
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
