America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
