I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
