The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
