Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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