Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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