My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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