Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
