Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
