I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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