i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
