He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
