Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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