i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
