I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
